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Self+ISH

Value yourself, even in relationships

It’s been a while I posted anything here but I am going to do better from now.

I was having a conversation with a close friend the other day we were talking about relationships generally and how people keep going back to old friendships that didn’t work for a reason, Ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends that are exs for a reason.

I took away some lessons from the conversation and I thought to share with you. I hope you find them useful.

1. Some people don’t value you enough to put an effort into your relationship or friendship with them, stop putting your all in those kinds of relationships. Learn to always define your friendships or relationships  and call them what they really are. Hang out buddies, social function friends, i-need-to-talk-about-emotional-issues friends…once you realise what the friendship is really about you can make it mutually beneficial if you’re fine with it or walk away if you are not.  Value yourself enough to stop giving your all to friendships that should only get a fraction of you.

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2. Some bridges are best when they are burnt. Like Titilope Sonuga said “Know when to leave. Some bridges need to be burned. Use the light to find a better way”. Stop trying to mend bridges that should be burnt, use the effort to build up other relationships that can build you up. The truth is we always, always know in our hearts when we should burn bridges, when you recognise those relationships value yourself enough to walk away and light up the  bridge, let it burn into ashes. and oh! remember to use the ashes as a memorial to other relationships.

3. Anyone that makes you feel small or not enough isn’t meant to be in your life. If anyone ever makes you feel lesser than who you are,  if they don’t see anything good in who you are or who are trying to be, then let them be. Relationships are meant to build us up not do otherwise.

4. If you feel like you can’t be yourself, stop pursuing that relationship. If you feel emotionally drained or anxious in any relationship, listen to your intuition and walk away. Make friends with people who energise you and inspire you to be your best self. Respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better. Don’t be complacent even in your relationships, strive for more! Ask for more nd be willing to give more.

5. Knowing your own value is one of the most important things in life. If you don’t value yourself then you won’t take care of yourself or learn to set boundaries in your relationships. Take pride in who you are and what you have to offer and approach any relationship with that realisation.

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